What A Wonderful World!

Girl : Semalam time aku gi cafe ader 2 orang Pak Arab buat simbol2 lucah kat aku. Siot tul.

Aku : Simbol apa?

Girl : Simbol lucah la. Ko tau la aku. Suka pakai baju seksi2. Nampak tetek semua kan? Paham2 jer la.

Aku : Ha Ha Ha. Cakap la dier buat simbol apa?

Girl : Tak mau la cakap. Tapi nak jer aku pegi kat diaorang. Tanya tak belajar agama ker?

Aku : Tah tah nanti diaorang yang tanya balik kat ko. Pasal apa ko pakai baju seksi2 - tak belajar agama ker?

Girl : Oit nih tetek aku. Suka aku la nak pakai baju seksi ker tak. Diaorang sibuk2 tuh buat apa?






And i laughed and laughed and laughed.

Modern Maths

Soros + Mahathir - Bush = World Peace?


Sorry


But i doubt that.

Oompa Loompa

1950 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1955 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1960 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1965 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1970 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1975 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1980 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1985 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1990 - Israeli kill Palestinian

1995 - Israeli kill Palestinian

2000 - Israeli kill Palestinian

2006 - Palestinian kill Palestinian


Should I cry or should I laugh?




You tell me, Please.

Jobless & Form

Guy : Here miss, my employee's application form.

Secretary : Umm…u missed this section. Can I fill it for u, sir?

Guy : Which section?

Secretary : 'Who is to be notified in case of an emergency'

Guy : Oh..That section.

Secretary : So who should be notified then?

Guy : Obviously a good doctor.

Secretary : Huh?

Guy : We should get a good doctor, right?

Secretary : …

Guy : Right?

Secretary : Ummm...

Secretary : Im sorry sir, but I don’t think we have vacancies here.

Guy : Huh?

Guy : ...

Guy : Did i say something wrong?

Tentative

6.30 am : wake up

8.00 am : reach lab - run experiment

10.00 am : run experiment

12.00 am :run experiment

2.00 pm : run experiment

4.00 pm : run experiment

4.30 pm : experiment done

5.00 pm : reach workplace (part-time)

7.00 pm : work

9.00 pm : work

11.00 pm : work

12:15 am : work done

12.30 am : reach home.



I can't feel my legs.


Seriously.

Post-Traumatic War Disorder #1

Aku kenal Mahadi dalam awal tahun 2003. Time tuh tengah musim final exam. Library mmg full. Satu meja kene share dalam dua tiga orang.

Aku datang library dah lewat. Aku try cari meja. Semua dah penuh. Last-last kene share jugak. Meja tuh sorang jer duduk. Pak Arab - Bercermin mata, usia dalam 25-26, dan pakai alat bantu berjalan.Yep. Pak Arab tuh kurang upaya.

Aku duk kat dalam library tuh dalam beberapa jam. Study tak sangat. Cuma TER-tido jer lebih. Pastu time aku tengah pack aku punyer barang2...sempat la aku sembang2 skit ngan Pak Arab tuh - postgraduate student, software engineering, Libyan.

And of course - nama dia Mahadi.

Pastu ada la aku terserempak dengan die beberapa kali. Lepas jer exam abih die mintak tolong aku jawab questionaire die untuk projek die. Aku pun tolong la. Bukan susah mana pun.

Dalam beberapa minngu lepas tuh die ajak datang umah dier. Aku ajak member pegi. Time tuh la aku tengok kaki dier. Macam terkehel sikit. Aku tak sure la sebab eksiden ker or mmg camtuh dari kecik. Tapi aku tak berani nak tanya. So aku buat nampak tak nampak jer la.

Kami pun sembang la skit2. Aku pun tak ingat sembang pasal apa.Heh. Time tuh ada housmate die. Kawan dier ada la dalam 2-3 orang datang dari Libya - nak buat bisnes kat Malaysia. Duk menumpang umah dier kejap sebab nak suruh dier jadi translator. Member dier tak pandai sangat cakap English. Oh, mind you - Mahadi punyer English mmg fluent la. Kire kalo MUET tuh boleh dapat band 5 la. Heh

So time kami tengah sembang-sembang tuh, Mahadi suruh housemate dier buat air. Housemate dier buat Jus Oren-aku ingat sampai skang. Sebab aku minum skit jer- Masam nak mampos.Hohohohoh. Pastu ada la cookies skit2.

Tengah kami duk sembang2, housemate dier tengah tengok Astro. Depa tengok Al-Jazeera news. Tuh pun aku ingat jugak. Sebab apa? Sebab dier beria2 bagitau aku yang boleh ubah bahasa dari Bahasa Arab ke English ke Malay. Maybe die ingat aku kolot sangat kot. Hohohohoho. Tapi aku buat cam kagum gak la. Jaga hati orang beb.

And aku ingat gak time tuh news tuh pasal apa. Korang pun mesti tau la kan. Hottest news in early 2003. What else? - Invasion of Iraq la.

If im not mistaken US troops dah ada kat Kuwait kot. Tengah buat preparation nak hit Iraq.

Then suddenly Mahadi cakap "Iraq is another Vietnam. Trust me. You'll see."

Aku pun angguk2 aje la kepala. Nak komen pun aku bukan tau sangat pasal perang Vietnam tuh. Hohoho. Lepas sembang sikit2 lagi aku pun blah la dari umah die. 3-4 hari kemudian aku balik kampung untuk cuti semester. Tak tau apa citer Mahadi lepas tuh.

Few weeks later, on March 20, 2003 - first bomb explode kat Baghdad.

And the rest is history.







To be continue...

- IST

TERROR-IST (?)





ERROR-IST (!)




Hey,

Don't axe me!

Juicier Than Ever

Do you ever smell your very own thumbdrive?











I do - right before i publish this post.

Unfortunately it isn't pendrive nano - fruity

ATM, LOTR & A Girl

Semalam time aku tengah beratur nak kuar duit kat ATM aku dengar la dua org budak laki nih sembang...

Budak #1 : Aku rasa aku ada chance la nak dapat awek tuh.

Budak #2 : Sebab apa beb?

Budak #1 : Semalam die bagitau aku dier sukar cerita Lord Of The Ring Trilogy. Aku pun suke giler citer tuh.

Budak #2 : Waa...Best la ko. Cun siot awek tuh.

Budak #1 : Tengok kaki la beb.

*Blah Blah Blah*


Aku rasa budak2 ni tak tau yang lebih daripada separuh penduduk bumi suka tengok LOTR Trilogy.

Survey

Which movie you like most?


Super-Happy Dancing Penguin?




or ;

Super-Cool Secret Agent?





or;

Super-Sad Love Story?









I've made my choice. Have you?

Myth v Reality

Myth : It's hard to say Sorry


Reality : It's hard to say Please and Thank You


Blah blah blah

Fight For All The Wrong Reasons

"There's one thing I'm not going to do, I'm not going to pull our troops off the battlefield before the mission is complete," Bush said in a speech setting the stage for high-stakes meetings with the Iraqi prime minister later this week.


-Yahoo! News

Just curious..how you define "mission is complete", Mr President?

When all the Iraqi is dead?

Tears And Rain

Apa persamaan semua di bawah ?

Pergaduhan Sunni - Syiah di Iraq

Kesemua filem arahan Prof. Madya Razak Mohaideen

Alasan Bush menyerang Iraq

Menjenamakan semula Mat Rempit menjadi Mat Cemerlang

Pergelutan Hizbullah - Kerajaan Lebanon

Keputusan Pak Lah membatalkan pembinaan jambatan bengkok

Drama forensik di TV3

Perebutan kuasa Hamas - Fatah di Palestin

Alasan yang di berikan oleh Dato' Zakaria sebab dia buat banglo ala-istana

Dapat CGPA 0.65










Yes


They are all stupid

Lonely

Yep

I am L.O.N.E.L.Y

Trump - et?

Who will you choose to become your apprentice?

33 yo guy that already have 10 years experienced in the bussiness

or;

22 yo guy that has just graduated from university with CGPA 4.0

Pretty easy, eh?

Obviously the experienced guy will become everyones favourite, right?

So my next question :

What the heck u think, Mr Tump when u choose this 22 yo guy to be in your show and take him to final two?

Donald, you fired!

Remp - Eat !

Semalam aku tengok Buletin Utama..Ketua Putera Umno nak jadikan Mat Rempit sebagai rakan cop.

*Satu Mat Rempit - tangkap satu peragut*


Dulu tak silap aku die nak tukar nama Mat Rempit jadik Mat Cemerlang..

Then tak lama lepas tuh...ader kes kat Utara (if im not mistaken) yang Mat *Cemerlang* nih baling batu kat Balai Polis.

Call me pesimistic, outdated, negative thinker.

Aku tak rasa idea nih akan berjaya.

So hate me.

Amusing... Just Amusing

Semalam salah seorang kawan pompuan aku call aku. Actually the conversation kinda amusing. So i thought it's kinda fun to put it in here.


Girl : Hello.

Aku : Hello.

Girl : Busy ke?

Aku : Tak la. Ok je.

Girl : Sori kaco. Saya bosan. Takder kawan nak ajak sembang. Saja call awak.

Aku : Oh, Ok. No problem.

Girl : ...

Aku : So kiter nak cakap pasal apa yer?

Girl : Entah la. Awak la start dulu.

Aku : Ummm...

Girl : Ummm...

Aku : ...

Girl : ...

Aku : ...

Girl : Ummm...

Girl : ...

Girl : Ummm...

Aku : ...

Aku : Ummm...

Aku : ...

Girl : Saya rasa baik saya tepon org lain.

Aku : ...


I do think this girl hitting on me.

from EX - ARMY to X - PRESIDENT

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
Tears drying on their face,
He has been here.

Brother lie in shallow graves,
Fathers lost without a trace,
A nation blind to their disgrace,
Since he's been here.









And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore,
Only sadness.


No Bravery - James Blunt
Back To Bedlam - 2004

* Blunt served as an armoured reconnaissance officer in the NATO peacekeeping force in Kosovo. It was while on duty in Kosovo that he wrote this song.

* Back To Bedlam is a must-have album.

Pssst, i didn't say you have to grab the original one afterall.

Need i to say more?

Round One : Fight!

A : Ko tau tak skang dah ader roti canai Pak Lah dengan roti canai Mahathir?

B : Tak.

A : Ko tau tak apa bezanya?

B : Tak.

A : Roti canai Mahathir ada telor... Roti canai Pak Lah takdak telor. Lawak tak?

B : Tak


Malaysia. Tanahairku.

Quando. Quando. Quando

Bush : I hates cat.

Blair : My mom said that if we hates cat we will be re-born as mice. How lame that joke is?

Bush : Its no joke. She's right.

Blair : You're crazy.

Bush : I know. So do you.

Blair : Huh? Me?

Bush : Yeah, you. That's why they sent us to this mental institution in the first place, right?

Blair : Huh?

Bush : At least that's what they told me.

Blair : ...

Bush : ...

Blair : Maybe we should skip the dinner and sleep early tonight.

Bush : ...


tell me quando, quando, quando

Bye-Bye Rumsfeld

"You are courageously leading our nation in the war on terrorism. You are doing a superb job," Mr. Bush said. "You are a strong secretary of defense and our nation owes you a debt of gratitude."

-CBS News

Bush heaps praise on Rumsfeld. Yeah, u heard right. P.r.a.i.s.e.

Sounds weird, eh?

I know.

Too little. Too late

"I recognize that many Americans voted last night to register their displeasure with the lack of progress being made in Iraq", Bush said.

- CNN.com

Wow! U are extremely brilliant! I am so impressed.

U suppose to write a book mister.

Or maybe u should start by reading a book instead - at least

Duh!

Wira

Aku mmg suka pinjam moto Man. Die tua 4 tahun dari aku. Dia nih pandai gak la jaga moto die. Kalau bawak jalan memang puas hati la. Man nih belajar setakat SPM je. Terus keje. Senang. Tak payah serabut-serabut. Kalau di ikutkan keputusan SPM dia tak lah teruk sangat. Kira bolehla kalau nak sambung STPM . Tapi dah malas katanya. Jadi die mintak keje kat kilang. Dapat. Dah memang rezeki dia kat situ agaknya.

Satu malam aku dapat call dari Man. Dia kata die nak jual moto die. Nak beli kete. Kancil. Aku terkejut. Aku memang tak setuju cadangan die. Ade Lima sebab. Satu - Sebab aku rasa die tak mampu nak bayar. Dua - Sebab aku tau die tak berapa pandai sangat bawak kete. Tiga - Sebab aku suka bawak moto die. Empat - Sebab aku suka bawak moto die. Lima - Sebab aku suka bawak moto die.

Die beria bagi alasan kat aku senang nak pegi keje kalo hujan. Tapi aku tau. Die nak ngorat sorang awek kat kilang tuh. Die selalu cerita kat aku pasal awek tuh. Die nak buat sesuatu yang boleh buat awek tuh cair kat die. Perbualan aku ngan dia malam tuh tamat camtuh jer. Aku beria cakap kat dier tak payah beli. Tapi dier tetap nak beli gak dan sebenarnyer die dah submit pun loan nak beli.

Beberapa bulan lepas tuh aku dapat SMS daripada Man. Die dah kuar kete baru. Tak jadi amik Kancil. Dier amik Wira. Aku tak reply pun.

Aku terserempak dengan dier kat Ipoh Parade dalam semingu dua lepas tuh. Die tengah jalan ngan sorang awek. Awek tuh la kot yang dier nak ngorat. Bleh tahan cun gak la. Patut la Man tergila-gilakan sangat awek tuh. Die beria ajak aku tengok kereta die. Aku malas. Aku bagi alasan aku nak cepat.

Hari ini, 3 tahun yang lepas, 2 minggu lepas aku jumpa Man kat Ipoh Parade, aku dapat call dari Khairul.

Man accident kat simpang empat kat Taman Meru. Accident dengan lori. Die mati di tempat kejadian.

Aku masih tak tau colour kereta Wira Man.